Dan, an electrician for a wood products company in southern Oregon, told Session 6B of the Leadership Development Lab:

"My wife, Cindy, is a nursing manager at our local hospital. She goes to work at around 8:00 in the morning. Often she doesn't get home until 7:00 or 8:00 at night. Most of the time, she is so mentally and physically taxed when she gets home that she grabs a book and goes to bed, reading herself to sleep. It has felt more and more lately like we were two ships that just pass in the night.

Four weeks ago at session two of the Leadership Development Lab, I decided she would be my "pearl." Generally I rise in the morning before Cindy. She likes her coffee very strong. In truth, it is like caffeine-flavored syrup. I can't drink it. I decided I would start making her coffee the way she likes it. For the past few weeks I have been bringing her coffee in bed every morning to make it easier for her to wake up. At first she was quite surprised. In fact I think you could say she was

shocked. She sits up, starts to sip it and then begins to start talking. For about the first five minutes, she talks about her work and I just listen. After that, she starts really communicating about our world and our lives together. I find that now I am getting the information I need so events in our lives, us and our children's lives, are not such a big surprise to me. Not knowing what was going on with our family had really been a little alienating to me. The benefits I have received from this extra fifteen minutes a day of going the extra mile with coffee the way my wife likes, are huge.

The lesson I have learned from this experience is a small investment of my time in reaching out, showing a genuine interest, can reap large rewards. The action I call you to take is to make yourself available. Go that extra mile. Provide small kindnesses and listen. The benefit you will gain is an increase in understanding and an improved reawakened relationship."

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!